Grief & Healing: Navigating Life's Transitions | Episode 5 Activate God with Habibat

Embracing Grief: A Journey Through Loss and Healing
In this heartfelt episode of Activate God (Season 1, Episode 5), we explore the profound topics of grief, death, and loss. Habibat shares her personal experiences with losing a loved one, offering a raw and honest perspective on the grieving process. She provides guidance on how to navigate through the pain, find healing, and embrace faith as a source of comfort and strength. This episode is a reminder that grief is a journey, not a destination, and that activating God in your life can help bring peace and resilience in the midst of sorrow. Join us for an intimate and uplifting conversation on love, loss, and the power of faith.
Season 1 Episode 5: Embracing Grief: A Journey Through Loss and Healing

Resources 
1. Need guidance on supporting someone navigating through grief? Listen to my friend, Fatimah’s podcast. She does an amazing job providing steps to help your loved ones navigate through grief: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1994662/episodes/15825585 

2. On the podcast, "Don't Change a Thing," the hosts invite comedian, actress, and star on Rap Sh!t on Max star Jonica “Blu” Booth to share about a challenging moment of her life as she gets her dream opportunity while simultaneously losing her brother. I love this episode because of her vulnerability, how she processed the death of her brother, how death changed her perspective on life, and how she chose life. 
Video: https://youtu.be/vkMjmHDWeBo?si=tqiA7Vw6pmKxlf5X 
Audio: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2O4LP2h4SuFnd8BVHTzIZh?si=1cde94a0a59c47ef 

3. This episode discusses Deshauna Barber as she opens up about the grief she experienced after losing her mother and provides comfort to those going through grief: https://youtu.be/A0pjMhluO7w?si=9iip5oJ0S_C0Af0z 

Transcript

Activate God's video recording-4: 0:00

grieving is not an easy thing, not even a little bit.

Habibat: 0:05

Because we most likely will experience grief in some ways in our lives, particularly if we're loving and if we're living. So the reality is right when you are grieving, you really do become a different person. I think sometimes you become a different person to the point where you don't necessarily recognize yourself and sometimes it takes you a while to come back to yourself.

0:30

Um,

Activate God's video recording-4: 0:45

Welcome back to another episode of Activate God podcast. I'm your host Habibat, and I'm super, super, super excited and grateful to be here with you. So y'all may have remembered, but I filmed my last podcast episode in sometimes August, right? And during that episode, we were talking about navigating through transitions, the good and the bad, the struggles and the triumphs of transitions. And in that episode, we realized, or me, it's me. I realized that a part of transitions is. going through sometimes death, like you experience newness, but you also experience some type of releasing of some things. And since then, since I was like, ooh, grief is going to be an amazing topic to talk about, I have seen so many people lose people and so many transitions has happened in my life and also other people lives that I was like I think it's time to talk about grief and from August on to now And right now we are in February. Whoa I was literally really afraid to talk about grief and the reason why I was afraid to talk about grief is because I was like, I'm not sure if I'm the right person to talk about it. And then up until more recently, really like a few months ago at this point um, I actually lost someone who was really, really, really dear and close to me. And I'm so grateful for her. And she was my former therapist um, Dawnn Reale. Um, And she was just phenomenal in every way possible. And I've known her for years. Just such a lovely lady. She lived in Vegas. We used to like talk on the, on the video. So you can imagine me who was who was in a shock that my therapist died and you know, like a therapist, a good therapist is hard to find And when you find her, them, him, you want to keep them, right? But there's something about God and God was like, hey, this might be her time to go. She passed away October 21st and I actually found out a few weeks later, but we'll talk about that maybe at some point. During this episode, we're going to be talking about grief. We're going to be over the next few episodes. We're going to be talking about different types of griefs, right. Or different types of deaths in our lives. So we're going to be talking about people who have transitioned out of our life. As in death, the other transition with people transitioning out of our lives are really sometimes a breakup, right? Whether or not that is a friendship breakup, that is someone moving away, and we have to experience them in a different capacity. And the other type of grief or death is sometimes losing parts of yourself, right? Or a dream that you had and that you have to come to reckon that like, Hey, this might not actually happen. And this is what I expected. And sometimes it's in the best way possible, but other times it's actually not in the best ways and you have to accept that. So over the next few episodes, we're going to be talking about grieving to be quite honest. But so let's start, let's start with the physical death. And I want to take a moment to honor and and take a moment of silence for the folks who have transitioned in our lives. I'm going to give us like three seconds to just like take a moment. And I also want to thank the folks who have transitioned, who have died in our lives, because I think oftentimes when we talk about death, We talk about the sadness of it all, in which it is sad, and I'm going to talk about that a lot. But the other thing is that they have made an imprint in our lives. And yes, for some people, someone who died is usually someone who they have loved tremendously. But sometimes it's someone who you actually did not love either, and you had a hard time navigating through a relationship with them. And Yeah, let's let's start there. Let's start there. And it's me rambling at this point. I have a few notes but I think i'm just gonna talk from my heart right now So when reality is, I am in the season of grief. I am grieving a loved one that I love so much. Like I knew that she loved me. I loved her and I even got connected with her in a different capacity. When I met her partner or her or her husband. And I think I'm just so grateful for her life, for her love, for her, for her, for her living. Yeah, so because I'm in a season of grief and just like finding peace with someone who I love tremendously dying, I know the feelings of having to still function in the midst of it, right? I think oftentimes when we lose someone, life continues to move on. And we have to continue moving on sometimes, unfortunately. And sometimes we may not necessarily have the capacity to take a break from work, to pause the other things that we have going on in our lives, and we still have to co function in the midst of the sadness. So I want to take a moment to acknowledge that grieving is not an easy thing, not even a little bit. And I think in reality, we don't talk about grieving as much, no matter how old you are, no matter whenever, whenever you lose this person, right? Grieving and losing someone is extremely difficult. So let us just define grief just for a moment. I would define grief in the most simplest form as you experiencing an emotional reaction towards a significant loss, right? Of course, there's like nuances in the definition. But it is not an easy thing, and I do want to say that for the folks who are grieving, who have lost a loved one, whether or not that was today, yesterday, three weeks ago, five months ago, five years ago, like 20 years ago, like it's still not easy to lose someone. And I, I want to say, I want to tell you that I am sorry for your loss. I'm sorry that you had to experience that like, like that shock, right? I'm sorry that you had to still function in the midst of it. I'm sorry that you had to find different coping mechanisms to allow yourself to still function in the midst of a significant loss, because that's really what it is. And I'm sorry that you have to learn how to live. Live with a significant loss. Yeah. And a part of me, particularly during the season, I have been Up until yesterday, or two days ago so my former therapist, amazing, Dawnn Reale, and I love her so much up until like a few days ago, I was just really sad that like, wow, like, I cannot believe that like, she left, right? I cannot believe that God chose her to leave in such a, in such a sad way, in such of like, yeah. She was dealing with ovarian cancer. And and she got diagnosed

Habibat: 7:53

maybe like over 2 years ago. And then she got the treatment, started functioning again. And then that's when it came back. And over time her body continues to deteriorate and the treatment was not working as well as it should have and could have. So because of that, I'm like, why God, why did this person have to leave? And why did it have to be just so like harsh? Right? Because she had to experience the pain of the suffering of her body not functioning And, and having not good health, right? And also the people around her have to also, in the midst of it, like, try to support her. Yeah, that's hard. That is a difficult thing.

8:42

I would like to take a moment to pause and take knowledge that Dawn's experiences have been shared publicly. So this way, you don't think that I'm just sharing out her information. She actually created a TikTok where she was talking about her experiences through the cancer.

Habibat: 8:58

And I'm just rambling, but like, I know that we still have to, we still have to live. Yeah, we still have to live. There's something about, like, life and death. Particularly death that reminds us to live, right? And I know a lot of the people that are around me also have experienced loss, particularly death, more recently in this season. And that's just a hard thing. Yeah, it's a hard thing to do. It's a hard thing to experience. It's a hard thing to accept. And this, this, this is, this is, very heavy. Grieving is very heavy. And I think at any point during this episode where you feel like it is a little bit too much for you, definitely pause it and come back. And I've also put in the resources, a few guides as well. That I think will be good like in the description box that I think will be helpful for you as you navigate, through your own loss or thinking about like how to support someone who is grieving so definitely check out the description but let's continue talking about grief and And I definitely want to send praying energy To anyone who has experienced grief, I want to send prayers of protection, prayers of healing, prayers of love, support, and peace. Grieving isn't easy, and everyone experiences it in different ways. Sometimes in order for us to grieve, it takes time to heal, right? And sometimes it's just time, sometimes it's action, sometimes it's us just like existing. I think sometimes it it is us avoiding and having a level of disconnection that allows us to like actively function in the midst of it. But either way, it is not easy and I think that people grieve in different ways and my prayer that especially if you are experiencing grief in any capacity is that you find healthy ways to cope. And that you have a safety and people in God, in, in systems that allows you to still be your full human being of self. But I also know that. In this world, sometimes that may not necessarily be the case. And I also know that sometimes people don't know how to support you in the midst of the grief. And that's why I think you should watch one of my friend's episodes, where she talks about grief and supporting a loved one through grief. And that is definitely in the description box. Yeah. So the reality is, right, grief sometimes shows us how much we've loved and how much we've lived because I think the more we live, the more people will transition around us, whether or not that is in the best place that we desire for them to, or whether or not that is a surprising death, right? And, and that's a hard thing to, to feel, that is a hard thing to believe and that is a hard thing to experience because it's not fun. Grieving is not fun. And really my, my hope for this episode is that I make grieving as light as possible, although it is not light, but I definitely want to talk about it in the lightest way because we most likely will experience grief in some ways in our lives, particularly if we're loving and if we're living. If we are loving and if we are living, we will experience grief. And I pray that you, as you continue to live and love, that you know that in the midst of it, like, you are protected, you are guided, you are loved and that you feel a sense of community and safety and that you're able to heal through the grief and find moments of solitude, find moments of peace, find moments of, of, of just like, of just warmth. Because once again, it is not an easy thing. And I think no matter how far the grief and the, the sadness is sometimes it doesn't make it any easier to experience it to be quite honest And I think sometimes we just learn how to function in the midst of it And that is not fun like y'all death is not fun. And I know that i'm smiling right now, but like i'm it's actually really heavy it's actually really sad. So at some point, we're going to be talking about what does scripture say, right? What, what does the Quran say? What does the Bible say? What does like different beliefs and religious backgrounds say about death and what happens after people die? That's going to be the next episode. Let's talk about that. We're going to do the research around that because, oh, if you don't know, Activate God is a multifaith, interfaith community where we talk about God, religion, spirituality, life, and we really try to understand the similarities and different religions and really try to figure out what the beauty is and how do we continue to coexist with people who have differing beliefs as us, but also people who have a lot more similarities than we might actually believe or think. And once again my condolences to anyone who has lost someone, whether or not you knew that that was going to happen, or whether or not that was a shock, right? I don't think either one is easy to go through. Both of them are extremely difficult, and both of them causes a particular reaction that is hard to live with. Right. And that sucks. That sucks. So the reality is right when you are grieving, you really do become a different person. I think sometimes you become a different person to the point where you don't necessarily recognize yourself and sometimes it takes you a while to come back to yourself. And I think when you are grieving, I think it's important to give yourself the grace and the time and the space to really relearn yourself. Whether or not that is you trying to go back to who you originally were, or you're trying to be literally a different person and you finding peace with that. Because I think once again, the more you live, the more you will lose people and God willing, God willing, God willing, you don't lose many people in your life. But the reality is life will, that will happen. Yeah, it will happen. It will happen. Yeah. But once again, God willing is not many. It's not many people that you, that you lose. So one of the things about grieving and death is that I've been trying to figure out a way for me to honor the folks who have transitioned and personally, I believe that like people who have died, well, some people that some people who have died have the ability to help us live, co live, exist in this world, right? I don't think a person just dies and it's just like that, right? I think that they sometimes have the ability to support us in this world and that they are still connected to us in some ways. And a few episodes ago I spoke about like ways to hear God and I think one of the ways to hear God is sometimes through people who have transitioned. I think oftentimes when we talk about people who have transitioned and the honoring of someone we usually talk about like ancestral veneration. I think there's a difference between veneration and honoring. And I think honoring is you. is, is, is you acknowledging their life, you acknowledging their love, you acknowledging what they've experienced, but you also know, in your heart of hearts that they are still connected to you in some ways. And I think the reality is the U. S., the United States, anywhere in the world, many, many places in the world, and many of the religious backgrounds that we have, or religious beliefs that we have we honor ancestral entities more than we think and more than we want to acknowledge. So for example, I live in the U. S. and we often talk about honoring someone by a holiday, right? So that looks like Martin Luther King Birthday, for example, we have a whole holidays to celebrate his life. We also have streets names after people who have transitioned. I also think if we're talking about like in the religious sense, right? Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, who's in the Quran, who practiced Islam, who's also an ancestor. We also talk about him in a way that like honors him in the same way for Jesus as well or Prophet Isa there's a way that we honor Prophet Isa And of course, like, of course, I think there's a difference between Prophets. Right? And people, but I think the, the, the idea of honoring someone who has transitioned is not so far fetched than what we actually do on the day to day. I guess the reason why I bring that up is because particularly right now, as I'm thinking about my own loss and the person that I love, oh, so much. And how do I honor Dawnn Reale, my former therapist? One of the ways in which I've been able to honor her is by just buying flowers and beautifying my space in honor of her. And it's like, this is dedicated to Dawnn because she deserves it and because she's been an amazing person and because I love her. And yeah, and I want to continue to think about her and I want to continue thinking about the lessons that she's bestowed upon me and the ways in which she continues to make an impact on my life, although she has transitioned. When you do experience some form of loss I pray that you are able to find a way to honor the person who have died And find peace with their death, although it is not an easy thing to do. The other thing, and I mentioned this earlier, is that like, we often talk about, and I guess this past episode, for the most part of this episode I've been talking about, like folks who we love that transitioned. But what happened to the people who we actually did not necessarily enjoy and they transitioned? That is still a shock and I think it's sometimes bittersweet, the person who we expected particular things from, but continues to fail us at some points of our lives. The person who is not necessarily as supportive to us, a person who's caused harm in some ways to us. How do we, how do we grieve that person? I think the ways in which you can grieve that person is by for one, acknowledging the places where you've been hurt by them. I think that's absolutely important. You have to acknowledge that like, Hey, like this person actually hurt me. Right. And I think the other piece is knowing that there's a difference between the, the, the humanistic version of someone and then also the spiritual version of someone. And I think oftentimes, we look at the human and we acknowledge the humanistic parts of us, right? The parts who, who come sometimes struggle, the parts of us who are successful, but we are as humans nuanced. And then the thing about the, the spiritual insight or the ancestral insight that we have after we transition is sometimes we get to see life differently. And I think that if you lost someone who have. hurt you, harmed you, who have failed you. I think the healing continues even after they've died. I think the healing continues even after they've died. And I also think that the person If they continue to live in this world, right, in the ancestral, spiritual world and who are in heaven or however way you define the, the afterlife, is that I think there are places where they might get a different insight that they that they have that they do not have when they were living. So literally who they become as well might also be a different person so I think sometimes when we are talking about people who have hurt us and harmed us in this realm and who have died, I think the truth is the person who they've become along the way they become a different person. And I think for us to heal, we have to accept and acknowledge the failings, but also know that they're also growing and they are asked to grow and the ancestral insight that they have, it might and should look absolutely different from who you've experienced them to be. And I also think once again they are different people. Yeah, and even if they're not, they failed you, and let's stay there, right? Like, they have failed you and I'm sorry. But really, I guess the point of this episode in all is for us to, for one, acknowledge the places where grief is a real thing, and we all experience it. We all have to support people who've experienced it as well, or who are in the midst of it. We all have to wake up and live as a result of it, acknowledging that, we are gonna die at some point. And accepting the transitions of life as well, which is also very difficult. So that's the point of this episode. And I pray that you are able to find peace in the midst of it, but also are able to truly live in the midst of experiencing grief. So once again, thank you for watching my episode, my podcast, Activate God. My name is Habibat and over the next few episodes I mentioned, we will continue talking about grief because that's the season that we're in. And we're also in the season of love and abundance, but I don't think we can ignore grief and I don't think in this society we talk about grief as much so I pray that this episode allows you to open up the door of conversation with your loved ones about grieving and what do they believe about death? And what ways do they want to be honored as they die or when they die? And what ways do you want to be honored when you die? because we're all gonna die Yeah, but I also wanted to think about how we're going to live, live abundantly and live freely and live joyfully and live fearlessly because that's a part of life as well. The, the, the constant parts of us who are dying and the people who are dying is also allowing us to wake up and be Habibat, hey, life is temporary. And how do I wake up and live? And I pray that you get to wake up and live and really live a life where God was like, wow, like you did that and you are proud of who you've become, who you've, who you've impacted, what you've overcame. So yes, I pray that you live in the midst of the grief, but I hope that you take a moment to just like acknowledge the places where you are grieving and you are experiencing the emotional response to a significant loss. So let's take a moment to pray. And Yeah, so assume a posture of reverence, however way you pray. So, Creator, thank you for yet another day. Thank you, God, for allowing us to live. Thank you for allowing us to experience life. Thank you for allowing us to experience love. I know during this season and many seasons of our lives, we will experience different forms of grief. And particularly for anyone who died. I'm praying that their life and their bodies, and their spirit continues to live healthily and happily and that they secure space in heaven. The other part is, for anyone who is experiencing grief, continue to protect them, guide them, love them, and particularly cover them with a particular level of protection and love and allow the healing energy to flow through them and allow them to not only experience the grief that they need to experience and let go of the losses, but also allow them to wake up and live, allow them to live freely, joyfully, lovingly, and abundantly. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Yeah. OK, well, this was fun. I think this was as fun as it could be. This is a heavy topic. And my prayer is that we normalize the realities of life and that we tap into God more in the midst of the realities of life and that we fumble through The realities of life because we will not be perfect And that is okay And that is okay And that is okay. And really the goal in our lives is to Try to be better. Try to be better every single day and during the moments where we take a two steps backwards and we stumble we get back up because we were meant to live. We were meant to get up. We were meant to be survivors. We were meant to be people who thrive. Thank you once again for joining me for another episode of Activate God podcast and I am your host Habibat and thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Enjoy the rest of your day. Yeah, you deserve it. You deserve to live. You deserve to love. You deserve to experience joy. You deserve to experience lightness. And I hope that you get all the abundant things that you're praying for. Okay. Enjoy. Thank you, God.

26:47

Um, Uh, Um, Uh,